Rating: Commando

I was asked when I was going to post something embarrassing…. the thing is, I am not easily embarrassed. However, today I was bare-assed, but I will get to that in a minute.

In situations where some people get embarrassed, I usually am just amused. The worse it is, the harder I tend to laugh. Things that have others hiding under the table will get me laughing so hard, I will have tears rolling down my face.

At any rate, I spent the day doing some carpentry stuff and was in a pair of cut-offs and a tank top and covered with sawdust out in the shop when dh got home. Me in cut-offs and using power tools must be a big turn-on or something, because my presence in our bedroom was requested, ASAP.

I am not a freak about it, but I am not a nudist by nature. My kiddos really don’t need to be walking in on me when I am taking a shower or anything else I may be doing that requires the removal of clothing, and I was pretty sure we were about to do the “anything else”. I thought he had closed and locked the door. He thought I had closed and locked the door. (You can’t see the door from the room because it is around a corner.)

We kissed (and such) for a few minutes, and decided the sawdust wasn’t such a turn-on, so I hopped into the shower while he put away his laundry and changed out of his work clothes. He was laying on the bed in his tidy-whities looking at a catalog when I came out of our bathroom.

FORTUNATELY we were just talking at the critical moment.

I was standing there, naked, drying my back with a towel. Dh was laying on the bed in his underwear facing me and talking to about some guitar in his Sweetwater catalog.

Enter the 15 year old. Apparently the door wasn’t locked (or even shut) after all! Now, she is a smart enough girl to know that her mom and dad have had sex more than 4 times. In fact, her room is right below ours, so I am pretty sure that she has been aware of that for quite some time now. But to walk in on us?!?

She stopped and she stood there for a split second before she let out a sound that was something like a chicken laying a really big egg. The look of horror on her face will be forever etched into my brain, and I, Mother of the Year, started laughing.

You see, we weren’t doing anything………. yet.

She turned tail and was gone. I quickly wrapped the towel around me and tried to follow her explaining that I had just gotten out of the shower, that we weren’t doing anything (yet), but I couldn’t stop laughing. I was just quick enough to see the top of her head as she disappeared into the basement exclaiming that she was scarred for life. (“Again???” I wondered.)

I could tell she wasn’t actually upset, just grossed out and a teensy bit disturbed (nothing that can’t be fixed years from now in therapy), so I returned to our bedroom. Laughing my ass off.

This time I locked the door.

As I turn to talk to dh, I let the towel fall to the floor. I am still laughing as I am walking toward the bed, telling him what she said, and something outside catches my eye. Oh. My. It is a friend of dh’s sitting in his truck part-way up our driveway, stopped with his mouth open.

A guy we go to church with who now happens to accidentally have a great view of our bedroom in that tall truck of his. (NOT the kind of guy who will tease us about it later…. more like the kind of guy who acts embarrassed and will go home wondering why the blind wasn’t shut.) I dropped and crab-crawled to the bathroom.

Okay, so this time I didn’t laugh.